Ty Thompson

“Here” – Ty Thompson

Here I am,

Standing here confused about my emotions.

I stand here,

Happy to be alive but angry about the circumstances I must live in,

Happy about my achievements but sad I don’t have more.

Here I stand and here I am,

Looking in the eye at the face of adversity and deciding if I am going to let it determine me and my thoughts.

Here I am,

Looking at what’s in front of me and wondering,

Why me?

Not in a bad way but….

Why me?

How was I the one put through my life with all its ups and downs?

As realize that there is no one like me in my company,

Why me?

I set the rule upon which my hearts reign.

I do what edifies my soul.

So here am I, and here I stand.

Pushing through obstacles that are imaginary to others and more prevalent to some,

Here I stand.

Pushing to make my future-self proud of what I have become,

Here I stand in front of what society wants from me…. what you might want me to be…and I walk away.

Here I am

Fighting for my presence to be merely known in a world where nearly nothing is your own.

Here I stand in front of judges, persecutors, and mad men.

I stand, for they will not push me towards something I will not be.

They will not make me change what is inside of my character.

They will not make me their version of better.

Here I stand, in front of eyes that judge my flaws willingly, and I blindfold them.

I crash the car that has been chosen to drive me down the path of what I should be, because what is thought of me does not define me.

Here I am, and here I stand in front of my own decisions.

Reaping both positive and negative consequences without an ounce of regret,

Realizing that what I do is a direct reflection of me…… and I love me.

Regardless if the judicial system does or does not,

Regardless if the policeman does or does not,

Here I stand.

I wear my scars as trophies.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Because regardless if I am liked or not,

I will be known.

I will not be known for what I am wanted to be.

I will be known for who I am.

I will not be known for my skin color or my hair, or because of my family or my friends.

For we all know that what is known depends on how its viewed.

How you feel depends on how you do things.

Do not marginalize me nor colorize me to fit with what is inside of your mind or eyes.

I despise racism, but colorism hits home.

How do we pick a bone that has already been separated from its whole and split it more?

How do we not clean up the mess but spread it?

We fall apart in the middle, and what we live in is like a riddle that I cannot solve, but here I am trying to.

So here I stand and here I am,

Breaking stereotypes that are assumed rather than lived,

Looking over your views of me to really be seen,

Here I am, teaching myself that it is ok to dream even when the sky might not be my limit.

Even when it seems that I am limited to dream inside means that were not even created by me,

Even when it feels like it is hard to succeed at all,

Here I stand, and I stand tall.

For I will not be molded without permission by the opposition.

I will not be forced to change my position when I play it well.

I will not be made to drop all my coins into the same wishing well that was not built by me nor made by me,

Only to wish others well... while depriving myself of both physical and mental success.

I will not dress my character in a cameo of someone else’s idea of success…just to be marginalized by society.

Here I stand,

Not for you but for me.

Here I stand,

In skin that I cannot and will not change.

Despite what my own race might think about me,

Here I stand,

Realizing that it is so much of a mental dispute than physical.

Here I stand,

Refusing to let anyone touch my mental perception of my future.

Here I am and here I stand,

No longer confused about myself but in love.

Here I stand,

On top of a mountain of adversity but steadily preparing for the mountain in front of me.

What is to hold on to?

What is to get use to when we constantly are running?

I stand.

I will not run.

I will not chase for appreciation of my goals.

I will not chase to gain perspective of my beliefs in what I see.

I will not run to reach goals that were not set in my favor.

I will not chase to meet a limit that is set by anyone but me.

I will stand.

I stand on top of any hindrance, obstacle, or oppressor.

I will not drown under pressure.

I stand tall against it all.

Here I am,

Content with what I have become.